Breaking up is hard to do, and even more so when there’s poor communication
practices between you and your ex-to-be. Ironic as it seems, it’s
just as important to communicate effectively
during the marriage as it is when the marriage ends – even if faulty communication
was what effectively ended your marriage. Obviously, it’s difficult
to keep high emotions bottled in when all you want to do is not have to
interact with your estranged spouse anymore. However, take this path at
your own peril, because divorcing couples must be amicable on at least
some aspects of their split, especially when minor children are involved.
Preparing for Difficult Dialogues
It’s best to have verbal communications, as text messages and phone
conversations are better suited to matters you can settle more quickly.
Remember, too, that any written communication can easily be saved and
held against you later on.
By using these communication techniques, you can ensure a healthier relationship
with your ex-spouse:
- Have a goal in mind for each conversation, such as discussing what you
plan to accomplish at parent/teacher conferences.
- Seek input from your ex whenever appropriate, such as whether your child
can get their ears pierced.
- Make sure you are being rightfully understood. If you’re unsure if
your partner is comprehending your intended message, ask them to repeat
what you’ve said.
- Table the conversation for another time if you find yourself or your partner
beginning to raise their voice or lose their cool.
- Recognize when your ex does something you agree with or approve of, such
as picking up your child’s prescriptions from the pharmacy.
To make your communication with your ex less chaotic, set ground rules
about topics you are comfortable talking about and which are your private
concerns you won’t discuss. You can also communicate to the best
ways to reach you and the best times of day to get a hold of you. While
it’s up to your attorneys to handle the legal divorce-related matters
such as division of property and child custody, it’s up to you to
resolves more minor issues on your own. Remember: The more you can agree
upon, the more likely your divorce will go smoothly and be less stressful.
Contact Us at the Law Office of Kathryn Marteeny
Your divorce attorney will undoubtedly be your biggest support in going
through the legalities of dissolving your union with your spouse, but
it’s up to you to do the work on your own to keep your relationship
with your ex civil. It benefits you both in the end, as an uncontested,
no-fault divorce is the best way to settle your divorce more quickly and
contact us for a consultation, please call (713) 936-2300.