Now that you’re divorced, you likely feel a weight lifted from your
shoulders as you look for new meaning in your single life. Getting over
your relationship with your ex-spouse isn’t easy, though, regardless
of whether you feel like you’ve moved on already. It’s understandable
you’d want to distract yourself in the midst of a painful breakup,
but you have to realize how it’s unfair to your prospective new
partner to bring your emotional baggage and raw wounds into the new relationship.
For many who form relationships too soon after their divorce (or even
in the midst of the divorce), the chance of the new partnership working
out in the long run are slim.
Someone “on the rebound” is less emotionally stable and has
unresolved feelings towards their ex-spouse. It’s understandable
while a rebound is so attractive. You likely haven’t had the solace,
companionship, and passion of a brand new relationship in years, maybe
even decades. Likewise, you probably haven’t felt desire by your
partner in just as long, and the intimacy of a new partner is intoxicating.
But you can’t leapfrog your pain from your last relationship by
diving headlong into the next one. Taking the time to heal and learn how
to adapt to the single life will allow you to truly put the past behind
you so you can give all you can to your new partner and have a more fulfilling
relationship that is more likely to last.
How to Avoid Going on the Rebound
Focus on healing from your marriage rather than downloading all the dating
apps on your phone. Take up a new hobby, join the local gym, or take a
solo vacation. By rushing into dating again, you likely won’t have
a healthy perspective on why your relationship ended. Taking advantage
of your new partner as a shoulder to cry on isn’t healthy, either,
and puts an unfair burden on your new partner and sets the stage for a
codependent relationship. Instead, you should be more comfortable with
solitude and learn how to practice excellent self-care so you can gradually
move on to a future relationship once you’ve had adequate time to
heal from your divorce.
Contact the Law Office of Kathryn Marteeny
Are you ready to put the past behind you? Your divorce attorney can help.
Contact us today to set up a consultation to discuss your legal options
and get on the path to a healthier, more fulfilling life.
To reach our office to
book an appointment, please call (713) 936-2300.